How many of you have fallen into the trap of comparison? I think if we are honest, we’ve all felt this way at some time in our life. For me, it is the habitual sin that I constantly surrender and then pick back up out of habit! I have to fight against it on a daily basis. So I’m really preaching to my own heart here. If you find yourself struggling in this way, I hope you will find encouragement here.
Comparison comes when we notice other people’s blessings more than our own.
Maybe you notice how God has financially blessed those around you, while you’re broke. Maybe you notice how easily friendships come to some people, while you have to work twice as hard to make one friend. Maybe you notice how gifted someone else is at something that’s your job and you feel like you don’t quite measure up. However it presents itself, comparison is always sin.
The most recent battle for me came right after graduating seminary. So many of my friends from seminary were being sent out all over the world as missionaries, moving mountains for God’s kingdom. While I felt SO excited for them, I felt less than because I wasn’t going with them. I wanted a great adventure with Jesus too! I wanted to be all in wherever He called me, and yet He wasn’t sending me out to some new land. Where it seemed everyone else had a very direct vision and purpose, I wasn’t sure at all what I was supposed to do or where I should be. Then I turned 30, and a whole new battle emerged as I thought about all my friends who are already married and starting their families, friends traveling the world, friends several years into their careers, and in so many ways I felt like my life hadn’t even started yet. Wasn’t I supposed to accomplish way more by the time I was 30? I’m simply being really vulnerable here to share about these struggles because I truly believe in this, I am not alone. It’s a trap that ensnares so many! And folks, comparison is always a sin and the one thing I am most sure of is that Satan wants to use it to keep us from all that God has planned for our good. He wants to use comparison to create fear, insecurity, and doubt in our hearts so that we hesitate to step into the plans God has for us.
In this fight against comparison, I’ve learned it does 3 things:
It takes away from the present. This is something I’ve only recently realized about comparison. When we spend so much time wishing for the next season of life or the next adventure or the next great opportunity, we miss out on what God is doing right now. I don’t mean we shouldn’t look ahead and think about the future, but we shouldn’t get so busy looking ahead that we become stuck in a rut of waiting for the things we desire. Then we only waste precious time and miss out on seeing the work God is doing. Likewise, if we focus too much on what God is doing in someone else’s life, we can easily be distracted from the work He is presently doing in our own life.
It tells God you’re ungrateful. This one is a little bit hard to swallow, but the truth is when we covet someone else’ blessing we are essentially saying “God why can’t I have that?” or “Why them and not me?”. It completely puts our focus on what we feel we are lacking and we become ungrateful, maybe a little bit angry, and find ourselves with a discontent longing for more than what God has given us. God gives good gifts to all of his children (James 1:17) and while some things may be harder for you than someone else, I guarantee God has purpose for it.
It steals your joy. Theodore Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of joy”. He meant that comparing your life, your work, your experiences, your relationships, or anything else will always make you unhappy. I once heard someone say they felt a pressure to compete with everyone in the room no matter where they were. Friends that is exactly what comparison does. It creates this unnecessary pressure to measure up to those around you, to gain approval, or to be the best at something. Who are we looking to for affirmation that we are what we need to be? Are we looking to God or to fellow sinners? Philippians 2:3 says “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” When you live in constant competition you will always be exhausted and you will lose your joy. You will go from focusing on what you feel you’re lacking to looking at what’s been lost-joy.
How do we fight comparison?
I can’t share what I’ve learned about comparison without also sharing how to combat it. This is by no means an expansive list of all the ways to fight comparison, but three ways I have found to be helpful in my own life and I hope they’ll be helpful for someone else as well.
1. Fix our eyes on Christ alone. Jesus Christ is the only perfect being and the only one we should reflect. When we look to the left and the right, we are seeking the approval of our fellow image bearers. But when we look above and fix our eyes on Christ we exchange our striving to be, striving to achieve, and striving to earn with a peace that allows us to live freely the plans and purposes God has for each of us. Then we can exchange pressure to compete with freedom to be who he has made us to be individually. In Ephesians 6:6 Paul writes “Don’t work to make yourself look good and try to flatter people, but act like slaves to Christ carrying out God’s will from the heart.”
2. Practice gratitude. Ephesians 5:20 reminds us “always give thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” The best way to stop coveting the blessings of others is to count your own. A great exercise is to daily write out 10 things you are thankful for. Try to write something different every day. Pretty soon I guarantee you will start to see all the good gifts the Father has lavished on you and you’ll stop looking for more.
3. Realize that what you do is less important than what you have. A good friend of mine reminded me recently that God is pleased when we are faithful and obedient and it doesn’t matter where we are or what we do to tell people about him, as long as we are following Jesus and trusting him. If you know Christ as your personal savior, you have his Holy Spirit within you and you are equipped to do whatever work lies ahead. The thing that has helped me the most and what I remind myself of often is this: God created you uniquely, individually, fearfully and wonderfully. Any gifts or talents you have are the ones God Almighty chose for you. He wants to work through you using what He gave you. I hope that’s an encouragement to you! Galatians 6:4-6 says “Each person should test their own work and be happy with doing a good job and not compare themselves with others.”
Friends, just do your best to be all God has created you to be. You are already a work of art that God delights in because you are His! Your identity is totally rooted in Him and when that fully sinks in, you won’t be looking for identity anywhere else.
Mercy Abides 